Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops