Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops