How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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A Dog walked into a bar and the bartenter said 'What can i get you' the dog dident say aneything cuz its a dog!!!!!

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Hi

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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