How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Asians

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Women's rights.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Women's rights.

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops