Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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the holocaust

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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