Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops