What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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non poop

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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asdf

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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Where are you going Your house

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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