There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops