Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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what is the color of a burp burple

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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