Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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