Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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