what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Jellybeans

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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