Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops