A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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