If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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