Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Cool story bro. Tell it again.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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