Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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