knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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