Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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