What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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tommy is retared

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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