Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

thumb_up thumb_down

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

thumb_up thumb_down

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down

A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

thumb_up thumb_down

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

thumb_up thumb_down

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

thumb_up thumb_down

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops