A women walks into a kitchen.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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Your face

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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