A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A miserable man committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I am quite mature.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops