What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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You're tall.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops