your mom died.

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

Knock Knock. Come in.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

69 is a number not a sex poshion

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

There is no joke here, stop reading.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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