if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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