What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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brock has small hands for a small job

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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8===D

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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