Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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YOU

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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canadians

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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