What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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Why? Why Not?

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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