knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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The WNBA.

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops