How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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