What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

woman..parallel parking

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

You all have Aids

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Poop

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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