Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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