When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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mark lawson likes boys

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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