Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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long in the tooth!

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Scott Gomez

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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