Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How old are you? 20

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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