What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops