knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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