How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What you reading? reading?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops