Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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Nice belt.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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