What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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