Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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You know whats funny Aids

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops