Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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-knock knock! -doors open

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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