Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops