-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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so how about that irline food

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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like if your cool

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops