Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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Nice belt.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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