- Anti Joke

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

There's a fine line between hyphenated words

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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