You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats one plus one penis

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Horse with a chair on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops