what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -33

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops