What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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LIFE INSERT COIN TO BEGIN!!! SELECT DIFFICULTY EASY

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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