Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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