- Anti Joke

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

Bean.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.