A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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